ClumsyMonkey.net

Go us and our depressedness!

yay us!

i seriously think there is something wrong with me, though.
because when i get depressed, i will be depressed for a few weeks and then i am miraculously 100% better all of a sudden.

tis very very strange

TIME TO QUOTE OLP!!!!!

"depressed? come here, try this"

heh.

(I am not crazy, I am listening to the song)

Damnit, I wish I could remember some of the stuff I learned in psychology. Then I was too concerned w/ the possiblility that my bro had ADHD to listen to any of the other stuff.

OLPMazurite wrote:yay us!

i seriously think there is something wrong with me, though.
because when i get depressed, i will be depressed for a few weeks and then i am miraculously 100% better all of a sudden.

tis very very strange

Cain was like that... and he actually went to the doctor and actually got diagnosed as bipolar.

yes i think there is something like that wrong with me

i gotta talk to the psychologist lady next week
i tell her about my weird mood swings

Can't you have like "mini bi polar". Yes...lameass term I know...but I can't remember what it's called.

i am a psychology major

hypomania probably

either that or cyclothymic

it's like the bi-polar version of dysthymia

I wish I had the nerve to talk to someone .. cuz I seriously need too, but I know I never will .. part of me doesn't even want too .. but a small part of me actually wants the help. I'm supposed to be on medication (which I refuse) and my depression, on top of my ocd's make for an interesting combination. I have intense highs and extreme lows ... and my mood can change within seconds. One minute I can be happy and giggling .. 2 minutes later I'll be trying to throw myself off a bridge. It's very entertaining.

Yeah, I didn't want to talk to anybody either. In fact, I... and most people would look at me and say that someone like me shouldn't be like this. You know, the homecoming queen doesn't have those feelings... Well, I actually almost went through with killing myself. I went through this particularly tough time once where I actually tried to fight my dad off of me, and I ended up getting hit really bad. So I got to thinking that I would never get away from that and I wondered a lot about the point of life giving people pain for no reason and it just didn't seem fair. I actually cut myself to watch myself bleed, but I got lucky because when I was sitting there watching the blood go down the drain, I got a call from my friend Rachelle and I just broke on the phone with her. Seriously, if it hadn't been for her being there for me, I wouldn't have thought that I was worth anything or could be worth anything to anyone. She helped me to realize that as soon as I could I had to get out of my house.

i was very very scared to talk to somebody
but my mother sorta made me do it
and it wasn't bad at all
it was sorta reassuring to talk to somebody who knows what you are going through

When I go into psych next year, you're going to help me, right Bethany?

Finding Emo wrote:I actually cut myself to watch myself bleed.

I do that on a regular basis .. sometimes it's the only way I feel alive .. it's pain, and it hurts .. but at least it makes me feel something rather then this dead empty feeling of nothingness .. it's the only way I know of how to make myself feel better.

Yeah, I was actually using that until I figured out how I wanted to do it. I was actually gonna just get a bath and then take the radio with me in the bathtub so I could have music. But seriously, you do feel so much better after talking to someone. I was never put on medication because they thought that mine was more due to circumstances that I needed to talk about. Which I still don't completely understand why someone would do such awful things to an innocent child, but I am getting better. I thought that I would never be happy, and that I wasn't a part of the world that everyone else was in. I had to grow up fast, I never had a childhood...and I felt like what was the point in living when all I wanted to do was live backwards.

I've never talked about any of that to people other than my psychologist and Cain. Wow.

that is how i feel when i am depressed, joey

like nothing inside
i feel so dead
it is not fun

twenty five. probably chalked up to teenage angst.

49

Axtech wrote:When I go into psych next year, you're going to help me, right Bethany?

sure

I will be a big and bad senior next year
working on my honors thesis hopefully

holy depression batman!

I got a nine.

OLPMazurite wrote:

Axtech wrote:When I go into psych next year, you're going to help me, right Bethany?

sure

I will be a big and bad senior next year
working on my honors thesis hopefully

Yay!

What are you planning on doing afterwards?