People have accused my reviews of being generated by a computer. Well, of course they are. You think anyone in their right mind would listen to The Alkaline Trio all day? I'm all digital baby. Like my dentist's favourite drill bits being plunged into the living tooth-pulp over and over again while he hums the Salvation Army's favourite marching tunes gently to himself, track twelve, Sorry About That should not be played to the vulnerable. Or those with ears.
In fact, this should've been put down years ago.
He hates your music
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dream in japanese
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 8179
- Joined: 3/22/2002, 1:29 pm
- Location: i am heaven sent
I've tried to wipe Alvin & The Chipmunks' Club Chipmunk-The Dance Mixes from my mind, but, for you, here's what I can remember...
The chorus of Macarena will haunt me for years to come, sounding as it does like my sister trying to fart through a tuba. Vogue should have been left off this album. It's marginally better than the rest and, frankly, only draws attention to their simplistic banality. Oh my god. I've clearly missed the whole point of this album - until you listen to track 3, Stayin' Alive you've no idea that the sound of the little pop and splash that comes before the scream after accidentally lodging a knitting needle in your eye is what Alvin & The Chipmunks was trying to create all along.
For fuck's sake, who decided that something not too dissimilar to the slow drip, drip, dripping of that tap you forgot to turn off in the bathroom before going to bed should grace the world's musical heritage? Plonk Play That Funky Music, Chipmunk on your CD player and tell me Alvin & The Chipmunks should be allowed to live. Go on. I dare you. Once music was a simple thing. People played a jolly tune into a recording device, people played it and danced about a bit. Now we need professional psychiatric care for an audience assaulted by the likes of I'm Too Sexy on a regular basis. Only the elephant man attempting to whistle the Muzak back catalogue could compare to Turn the Beat Around.
In fact, there appears to be no reason why the world would miss Alvin & The Chipmunks.
If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something.
now he's gone too far!
<img src="http://www.clumsymonkey.net/phpBB2/download.php?id=4500">
#define QUESTION (bb || !bb) --william shakespeare
#define QUESTION (bb || !bb) --william shakespeare
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Penguin Josh
- Posts: 7664
- Joined: 4/29/2002, 1:27 pm
- Location: Boston
What do I think about Matthew Good's Avalanche? I don't think you are going to like this...
Pledge Of Allegiance is simply terrible. That's it, no further explanation needed. Sticking my fingers in my ears made track 2, Lullaby For The New World Order sound a whole lot better, but not as much as putting an axe through my CD player. The sound of the slow ticking noise of your concrete boots setting after stupidly refusing to do business with that nice Italian family firm is nothing compared to the dire track 3, Weapon.
It's things like Avalanche that makes people want to kill each other. 21st Century Living isn't that bad. Ha ha. Got you. It's just a tiny bit worse than, say, the sound of the sickening crunch of fist into nose experienced nightly outside most nightclubs. Track seven, While We Were Hunting Rabbits is beyond belief. It sounds like the dopplered euro-pap that you hear late on a Saturday night in the suburbs blaring from a jumped up Ford Fiesta.
In fact, I wish Matthew Good had never been born.
If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something.
Pledge Of Allegiance is simply terrible. That's it, no further explanation needed. Sticking my fingers in my ears made track 2, Lullaby For The New World Order sound a whole lot better, but not as much as putting an axe through my CD player. The sound of the slow ticking noise of your concrete boots setting after stupidly refusing to do business with that nice Italian family firm is nothing compared to the dire track 3, Weapon.
It's things like Avalanche that makes people want to kill each other. 21st Century Living isn't that bad. Ha ha. Got you. It's just a tiny bit worse than, say, the sound of the sickening crunch of fist into nose experienced nightly outside most nightclubs. Track seven, While We Were Hunting Rabbits is beyond belief. It sounds like the dopplered euro-pap that you hear late on a Saturday night in the suburbs blaring from a jumped up Ford Fiesta.
In fact, I wish Matthew Good had never been born.
If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something.