Open Letters to People and Things You're Mad At

magicseamonkey · Post by **magicseamonkey** » 6/22/2006, 12:54 pm

Dear me,

Why did you have to be so stupid as to volunteer to work on a weekend in the height of summer concert season 3 months ahead of time? Now you have to go and try telling your boss that your family scheduled an unreschedulable gathering to try to go see Damone at Warped, and you also miss The Roots/Talib Kweli.

Brian

Bandalero · Post by **Bandalero** » 6/22/2006, 2:19 pm

dear Reno's ass,

stop internetting and go fax that insurance proof to the cops in ganado, Texas. It;s due tomorrow, or you'll pay a fine dumbass!!.

love,

Reno's mind.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 6/22/2006, 2:35 pm

Dear you know who you are:

I liked you, a long time ago, alot. Then I hated you, but was self destructive enough to keep you around as a friend. Then I moved on, and then you acted jealous. Now you are always around and I can feel the attraction. YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME FALL AGAIN. Comprende?

PS. If you did, would you love me and leave me like you do to everyone else?

Bandalero · Post by **Bandalero** » 6/22/2006, 3:05 pm

Dear cass,

I love you, talk to me.

-Reno

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 6/22/2006, 3:07 pm

dear reno,

we need to talk, asap.

-moi

Bandalero · Post by **Bandalero** » 6/22/2006, 3:08 pm

dear pecker,

msn, now!

-Reno-rican

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 6/22/2006, 3:08 pm

reno:

no msn on this computer...gah!

-yannic

Bandalero · Post by **Bandalero** » 6/22/2006, 3:10 pm

dear yannic,

then what do we do?

-Reno

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 6/22/2006, 3:23 pm

dear world,

me and reno have figured it out. you may cease panic.

-yannic

ihatethunderbay · Post by **ihatethunderbay** » 6/22/2006, 4:27 pm

Dear me

Why the fuck haven't you studied for your chemistry exam tomorrow? I hope you can fit a hell of a lot of stuff on that cue card.

Sincerely,
Me

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 6/22/2006, 9:26 pm

Dear Reno-

I am on msn.

Dear Yannic-

Download it.

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 6/22/2006, 9:56 pm

this is totally exactly what i do when i'm mad at something, except i say it out loud.

dear work,
stop firing everyone who is awesome.
fuck you.

love, jillian

afealicious · Post by **afealicious** » 6/22/2006, 9:58 pm

Dear Sister,

Nobody's going to miss you when you graduate and leave the house. Some of us can't wait. You are a bad person and you have a bad heart and I wish I weren't related to you. Stop making our lives harder; if you're going to ruin yourself, go and ruin yourself and don't ruin the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Me.

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 6/22/2006, 10:02 pm

dear boy i like,
come to prom, see how fantastic i look in my dress, and make out with me.
love, jillian

ps. i really do look hot in my dress, if i do say so myself. and considering i usually wear baggy pants and t-shirts, someone needs to see that i have a figure.

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/22/2006, 10:29 pm

Dear Johnny's brain,

Work right please. kthnxbye

-Johnny

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 6/22/2006, 10:46 pm

Dear Jen,

Is everything ok with you?

Rusty.

Sonya · Post by **Sonya** » 6/22/2006, 11:15 pm

DEAR HIVES.

PLEASE GO AWAY AND STOP BEING SO ITCHY AND RED AND UGLY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

much</3sonya.

myownsatellite · Post by **myownsatellite** » 6/23/2006, 7:16 am

Dear POP Mail:

WORK DAMN YOU.
I followed the directions exactly, YOU SHOULD WORK.
But you don't.
You must hate me.
A lot.

No love,
Megan

Random Name · Post by **Random Name** » 6/23/2006, 7:43 am

Dear Sarah,

You are dumb.
A quilt?! Who makes a quilt?! Whats wrong with you.
Why would you think you could finish this on time? Its clearly not possible.
Have fun spazzing out. And don't say I never told you so.

-Sarah

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 6/23/2006, 8:35 am

dear father,

please stop insulting me every chance you get. it just makes me feel even more depressed then i already am.

your first born,
melissa