ClumsyMonkey.net

Sorry, here's a present

gives you the first issue of Angry Dad comic book

Dear Bethany and Friends:

I realized this morning that I think my mailman may be stealing my garbage. What do you suggest I do to stop this evil-doer and reverse his sick plot of stealing my garbage?

- Garbageless in Whitby

Xavier870 wrote:Dear Bethany and Friends:

I realized this morning that I think my mailman may be stealing my garbage. What do you suggest I do to stop this evil-doer and reverse his sick plot of stealing my garbage?

- Garbageless in Whitby

Dear garbage,

I say, let the poor postal worker have the garbage. Obviously he's not getting enough wages to eat with if Canada Post is threatening strike, so why would you deny him some of your tasty used napkins? Also you will have no shortage of garbage as long as you live in Whitby. I promise.

Love, Alex

Dear Bethany and friends,

Just what the hell do girls want?

~average male

joe_canadian wrote:Dear Bethany and friends,

Just what the hell do girls want?

~average male

Dear Average Male,

Let me tell you, ladies do not like the average guy. You have to be at least seven inches to turn heads anymore, which is a real shame, because there are oodles of men out there who really know how to work their stuff even if they aren't overly hung. Ahhh damnit, why won't any women sleep with me? I'm not hung, but damnit, I know how to use it! I swear, I know how to use it! Come on ladies, please touch Thaddeus and the brothers. I am gonna go cry now....

~Alan

Dear Bethany and ONLY Bethany!

Will you be my valentine?

Lando wrote:Dear Bethany and ONLY Bethany!

Will you be my valentine?

dearest lando

rob says that i am his one and only valentine
but you can be my secret valentine

hehe,
Bethany

Ahem, you promised that to me Bethany. You better let me be your private dancer if you take that away from me, you she-devil.

OLPMazurite wrote:

Lando wrote:Dear Bethany and ONLY Bethany!

Will you be my valentine?

dearest lando

rob says that i am his one and only valentine
but you can be my secret valentine

hehe,
Bethany

Dear Bethany, are we in agreement that Rob doesn't matter?

Thanks,

-Lando

happeninfish wrote:

Xavier870 wrote:Dear Bethany and Friends:

I realized this morning that I think my mailman may be stealing my garbage. What do you suggest I do to stop this evil-doer and reverse his sick plot of stealing my garbage?

- Garbageless in Whitby

Dear garbage,

I say, let the poor postal worker have the garbage. Obviously he's not getting enough wages to eat with if Canada Post is threatening strike, so why would you deny him some of your tasty used napkins? Also you will have no shortage of garbage as long as you live in Whitby. I promise.

Love, Alex

dear bethany and friends,

is it true that tuba is the fucking coolest?

- tuba player in texas

pragmatist wrote:dear bethany and friends,

is it true that tuba is the fucking coolest?

- tuba player in texas

Dear Tuba,

I am sorry, but the tuba is not the fucking coolest. It's not even the fucking ok. I am shocked that you would ask such a stupid question. To find out the coolest instrument, you have to take a trip back to the 1980s and there is where you'll find the answer. The greatest thing ever is the keytar. I mean, how awesome is it to have a keyboard strapped around your neck so you can move around and play at the same time? It's fucking awesome. Tubas blow.

~Alan

OK! Dear Bethany and all her friends except Alan the Asshole.

Let me rephrase the question. Is it true that Tuba is the coolest wind instrument in a marching band?
-tuba player in texas

Yes. Yes it is.

thank you.

tubamaphone!!!!!!!!

No no no... It's "saxamaphone". You're thinking of tubamabob.

Idealist wrote:tubamaphone!!!!!!!!

you are correct