ClumsyMonkey.net

I didn't actually find this on the internet, but this is front page news in the New Haven Register today. We noticed it at breakfast this morning. Greatest front page news article EVER.

http://www.nhregister.com/site/news.cfm ... 6835&rfi=6

Oh no.

It's sad, but the fact that it's front page news and how badly it's written make it hilarious. Actually the funniest part is not in the web version. Right below the headline, before the article starts (the subheadline?) it says "State has no regulation on animals in hair salons".

Why the crap is this front page newsworthy, people? This newspaper = sucks so bad.

Yeah, that's pretty funny.

But the poor puppy.

Hee. My laugh of the day.

The most bizarre pairing of topics EVER:
(I did a print screen of this from Yahoo news)

They rhyme, though, so it's okay.

Oh, and, courtesy of Bethany (and she got it from Sarah):

http://www.sun-tracker.net/public_upload/pacamajig.mov

Amazing.

That was just... wow. I want to do that, now. So hard.

WAKAWAKAWAKAWAKAWAKAWAKAWAKAWAKAWAKA

Robber pulls knife on storeowner. Unfortunately for robber, store owner is martial arts expert.
crazy video: http://www.news10.net/video/player2.aspx?aid=24312&bw=

Store Manager Makes Life Miserable for Would-Be Robber

A Modesto convenience store manager took matters into his own hands during an attempted robbery, not only forcing the would-be robber out the door but helping police catch him.

On November 21 at about 10:30 in the evening, Edward Petrossi was working alone at the Quik Stop store on La Loma Avenue. A man came in, picked up some beer and waited by the counter while the other customers left. The man then pulled a knife on Petrossi.

Unbeknownst to the robber, Petrossi is an expert in martial arts. He assumed a "ready" stance, then grabbed a pair of scissors and box cutter from under the counter and told the man to "bring it on." Petrossi said the man dropped the beer and fled.

Petrossi wasn't about to let the man get away. He gave chase, literally kicking the would-be thief through the store's front door.

Surveillance video (shown above) captured the man stumbling through the door with Petrossi in pursuit. The suspect is seen getting to his feet, pulling up his pants and running off. Petrossi ran after the suspect into a neighboring parking lot. There the man approached a van but fled on foot when he saw Petrossi pursuing him. The store manager said he suspected the van belonged to the suspect, so he snapped a picture of its license plate on his cell phone camera.

Petrossi continued after the suspect, who looped back, got into the van, and attempted to drive away. His problems weren't quite over, though. Petrossi grabbed a rock and threw it through the driver's side window, shattering it.

The photograph of the license plate became part of the police report on the incident and on Wednesday, 24-year-old Corey Allen Funk was arrested in Fresno for the attempted robbery. Funk is suspected in five robbery attempts in Modesto. Four of them were successful.

Funk is being held in Stanislaus County Jail on $250,000 bail.

Sucks to be the robbber

Oh that is so awesome.

afealicious wrote:Unbeknownst to the robber, Petrossi is an expert in martial arts. He assumed a "ready" stance, then grabbed a pair of scissors and box cutter from under the counter and told the man to "bring it on." Petrossi said the man dropped the beer and fled.

"Bring it on."

This is the best Fark PS in a while.

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comment ... nk=1807461

These are clearly the best ones:

And oh yeah... Superman's dead

I was like "OLP fan?" when I first saw that one... then I realized I live in our tiny little world here way too much.

But did you notice the filename on it?

/fark/still_dead.jpg