ClumsyMonkey.net

^I concur.

Girls seem desperate when they make the first move.
or skanky when they flirt.

or maybe I suck at it all.

Ok, I'm obviously a guy, and i really dislike it when a girl that i don't like comes on way too strong. I like it when a girl makes slight moves and slowly makes them more apparent... it sounds strange, but if you come on too strong, i find you to be slutty.

okay kids, i'm going to kind of change the subject just a bit.

do you think friends with benefits can work?

i ask this because this weekend, my best friend and i decided to give it a try, and so far, it seems to be going according to plan.

so, thoughts?

My thoughts are this.

Guys are needy and will slowly want more, then you have got a full blown relationship on your hands. Then everything is all awkward cause you want to be friends, but your more then that and no one wants to admit it.
in other words, it gets complicated.

Yes, because guys are the only ones who are needy.

They are

I can vouch for this

the key to getting dates & winning friends is how you carry yourself. i've said it before and i'll say it again: you have to respect yourself if you want others to respect you. the level of self-respect that you have is directly tied to the level others will show you.

you must always rate yourself 10/10, because you cannot count on anybody else to do it. if you display class, integrity and dignity, people will be attracted to that no matter what you look like. confidence is everything.

there's no "trick" to it. you just have to know what you want, and never put yourself in a position where you're thinking "i'm not good enough for so-and-so". instead, be htinking "is so-and-so good enough for me?" remember that we're all people and we're all equals.

my $.02

I think you're right. Easier said than done though.

the key to self respect: the garfield method.

1) wake up in morning.
2) enter bathroom. disrobe.
3) eye self. choose body part. in this example, i will use ass.
4) repeat following: "i have a nice ass" five times.

that was in the garfield's guide to self esteem or some such that i got when i was in the fourth grade. it worked for me!

remember that no realationship is worth it, no matter how hot & popular the guy/girl is, if you are not happy. attractive and popular people cannot always make you happy. in fact, most of them are shitty at it.

Cass - will it help if i hit on you?

Of course

So here's today's scoop:

Well... 5th and 7th period, the girl is in my class. So 5th period, we talked and such. Then 7th period, we got closer, sat right next to each other and we talked some more and it really seemed kind of obvious that she liked me... and i think that i liked her. Then near the end of class, while everyone's getting up and the room is chaotic, i see her go up to the board, and write 'Josh H is hott'... needless to say, i am not josh h.

she just did it to make you jealous. i think you're going to score.

make sure you use a rubber.

Lora, here's the skinny on your situation.

I did the friends with benefits many a time with my friends, and it never works out. At first it's great, I mean, you're getting off and you can look for other people, it rocks. Then it gets worse. In each case, the girl wanted to date me, and I told the girl no, and each girl stopped talking to me afterwards.

Then there's the case where my ex Lauren and I broke up and went into the friends with benefits mode. The thing is though, nothing changed with us. We might have broken up, but we acted like we did when we dated, and it led to us going back out a week later. Then we broke up again and did the friends thing, and I thought we'd get back together because I was in love with the girl, and it didn't happen. We wound up drifting apart and now we hate each other.

End the situation now or date the guy. Trust me on this.

i have a whole different viewpoint on the "friends with benefits" situation. my boyfriend matt and i were friends with benefits for 2 months before we actually started dating seriously, and now, in 5 days, we are celebrating our 6 month anniversary of dating seriously.

there were a couple of other guys who i had the whole friends with benefits thing, but that was a long, long time ago and it meant nothing.

i have this guy friend and i reeeeeallly reeeeeeallly like him.

hmm. this is all kind of new to me (and maybe even him), so we've decided to take things slow. i don't know if he has any romantic feelings for me or not, but i kind of doubt he does (which is good, because i don't think i want him like that). we're just very close friends messing around, i guess.

thanks for the advice everyone. i'll keep it in mind.

what happens when you find somebody you do want, though? do you tell your friend with benefits it's back to just friends? and do you really believe that he will be satisfied with that?

this type of thing can work but i believe it will take a little planning, otherwise somebody will get hurt.

i agree, and that's why we're being fairly meticulous about the whole process.

(of course, this does have the potential to explode in our faces, but we're stupid like that and tend to take each other for granted.)