Posted: 6/27/2003, 4:01 pm
and you should! 
which proves difficult in sexual situationsClumsyMonkey.net
An Our Lady Peace Fan Community
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So a bird shats on my head today.......
Page 6 of 11
Posted: 6/27/2003, 4:03 pm
which proves difficult in sexual situationsPosted: 6/27/2003, 4:03 pm
*huddles in the shower trying to scrub himself clean*
Posted: 6/27/2003, 4:54 pm
Johnathan wrote:J-Neli wrote:but seriously I could not fathom having my hand up a cows ass
It was nasty!! To make matters worse that cow was trying to have a dump!! It was gross!! I couldt feel it coming out!
I feel dirty
You are dirty
Posted: 6/27/2003, 10:40 pm
that made my year
i think my favorite part was trying to picture this:
i think my favorite part was trying to picture this:
Johnathan wrote:I was smashed into the was
Posted: 6/28/2003, 6:37 am
Posted: 6/28/2003, 10:15 am
That was supposed to say:
"I was smashed into the wall"
Posted: 6/28/2003, 6:47 pm
Stuck
Well a few years I was starting 10th grade at a new school. So on my very first week there, I get sick, very sick. I was so sick that I could barely stand up. All I wanted to do is sleep.
So during my down time, I had to make frequent and sudden trips to the bathroom in the dead of night.. This was challenging. So one night, it was about 3:30 am and I woke up suddenely and was in the bathroom within seconds. I didnt even have time to fully awake myself and I wasnt paying attention to anything other than need to go #2.
So I get into the bathroom and I sit on the toilet but, thats when I feel something wierd on my tush. That helped me wake up more then I realized that my bum was cold. Thats when the lightbulb in my head turned on. I realized that I forgot to put the seat down. INstead of sitting on the seat I was sitting on the toilet rim. It was nothing until I tried to get up.
I couldnt't get off the toilet. I was like
and
I tried some more and I couldnt get off. I was stuck to the shitter. So it took me a few minutes to realize what was wrong...........
...............you see when I sat down, my ample derrier created a ."vacuum" or "suction"( if those are the correct words) and I was stuck........good. So i tried pulling and twisting my way off but It wasnt working. So to free myself I used the toilet brush
to stick into the bowl to let air in.........
Well a few years I was starting 10th grade at a new school. So on my very first week there, I get sick, very sick. I was so sick that I could barely stand up. All I wanted to do is sleep.
So during my down time, I had to make frequent and sudden trips to the bathroom in the dead of night.. This was challenging. So one night, it was about 3:30 am and I woke up suddenely and was in the bathroom within seconds. I didnt even have time to fully awake myself and I wasnt paying attention to anything other than need to go #2.
So I get into the bathroom and I sit on the toilet but, thats when I feel something wierd on my tush. That helped me wake up more then I realized that my bum was cold. Thats when the lightbulb in my head turned on. I realized that I forgot to put the seat down. INstead of sitting on the seat I was sitting on the toilet rim. It was nothing until I tried to get up.
I couldnt't get off the toilet. I was like
and
I tried some more and I couldnt get off. I was stuck to the shitter. So it took me a few minutes to realize what was wrong...........
...............you see when I sat down, my ample derrier created a ."vacuum" or "suction"( if those are the correct words) and I was stuck........good. So i tried pulling and twisting my way off but It wasnt working. So to free myself I used the toilet brush
to stick into the bowl to let air in.........
Posted: 6/29/2003, 11:10 am
Posted: 6/29/2003, 11:19 am
Does anybody else want to hear more tales of stupidity?
Posted: 6/29/2003, 11:21 am
or is that enough?
Posted: 6/29/2003, 11:34 am
MORE! MORE! MORE!
Posted: 6/29/2003, 3:17 pm
oh shoot. ass stuck in a toilet.
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:23 pm
Stuck. Part 2
This is involves total stupidity on my part.
Well back in the 12th grade I was partying at my friends house. This was a time when I was pretty much drunk every other weekend(We had back to back Birthdays) So it was a friday night. I was at my friends birthday party and we were having a blast. It was a very god time......till I got an Idea to pull a prank.
So in my drunken state, I decided to sabotage the toilet. I asked my friend if he had some Crazy Glue( I told him that my glasses were broken) and he told me look upstairs in his cupboard. So I go up and I find two brand new tubes of Crazy Glue. I snatched them up and proceeded back downstairs. I go to the bathrooom and I open up the tubes of crazy glue. I pour two whole tubes of glue onto the toilet seat( The idea that some one would get stuck sounded hilarious) I hoped that the glue didnt dry.
So a few minutes pass, then I start feeling sick(My bastard friends spiked my drink with a laxative). I started to have cramps. I was like "oh no" " whats wrong?" I had to go to the bathroom. So I mad a mad dash to the toilet and I went number#2. After that I felt a little bit better but I knew that I was going to be making frequent trips. So I finish up and I try to stand up, but I couldnt get up.
Yup you guessed it, I fell victem to my own prank. I was glued tightly to the seat So matter how hard I tried to pull myself off, I couldnt get up. It hurt!!
Needless to say that the next few hours and days turned out to be "weird"
You see to get free I had to detach the toilet seat from the toilet. All I can say is thank goodness I was wearing sweat pants or the trip home woulda been way weirder.
This is involves total stupidity on my part.
Well back in the 12th grade I was partying at my friends house. This was a time when I was pretty much drunk every other weekend(We had back to back Birthdays) So it was a friday night. I was at my friends birthday party and we were having a blast. It was a very god time......till I got an Idea to pull a prank.
So in my drunken state, I decided to sabotage the toilet. I asked my friend if he had some Crazy Glue( I told him that my glasses were broken) and he told me look upstairs in his cupboard. So I go up and I find two brand new tubes of Crazy Glue. I snatched them up and proceeded back downstairs. I go to the bathrooom and I open up the tubes of crazy glue. I pour two whole tubes of glue onto the toilet seat( The idea that some one would get stuck sounded hilarious) I hoped that the glue didnt dry.
So a few minutes pass, then I start feeling sick(My bastard friends spiked my drink with a laxative). I started to have cramps. I was like "oh no" " whats wrong?" I had to go to the bathroom. So I mad a mad dash to the toilet and I went number#2. After that I felt a little bit better but I knew that I was going to be making frequent trips. So I finish up and I try to stand up, but I couldnt get up.
Yup you guessed it, I fell victem to my own prank. I was glued tightly to the seat So matter how hard I tried to pull myself off, I couldnt get up. It hurt!!
Needless to say that the next few hours and days turned out to be "weird"
You see to get free I had to detach the toilet seat from the toilet. All I can say is thank goodness I was wearing sweat pants or the trip home woulda been way weirder.
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:26 pm
you wore the seat home????
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:28 pm
how did you manage to get the seat off your ass afterwards?
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:32 pm
Only you, man. Even though you were drunk, only you could do something like this.
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:36 pm
superrgirll wrote:how did you manage to get the seat off your ass afterwards?
Well I tried to take a very hot shower......that helped a bit. I layed in bed with 6 heavy blankets on me. That helped but I couldnt stand the heat. So in the end I had to let nature takes its course....................
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:54 pm
what happened when you had to take a shit?
Posted: 6/30/2003, 2:56 pm
He left the seat up.