by saman » 11/7/2011, 10:27 am
the courthouse thing is already done. we're technically already married. in pakistani culture, weddings are a huge, step by step process. there's the engagement, the prewedding celebrations where people wish the bride and the groom luck, the actual paper signing, the giving away ceremony from the bride's side, and the reception from the groom's side. as the first step in the process, engagements don't have much significance because they're considered breakable if necessary. when we got engaged, my parents wanted us to take it a step further and make it legal and binding by signing a marriage contract, especially since we would be living apart for so long. i initially had no intentions of doing so, but when i saw how unhappy my parents were, i conceded on the condition that i would still have all the rest of my wedding and all its little ceremonies the way i want.
and that's the thing about this henna party. it's not just any old party, it's actually part of the wedding celebrations, part of the complete package. the bride is blessed and wished luck and happiness by family and friends before she goes to her new home. i consider it a fairly intimate thing. and having a bunch of random people there whom i don't know and who don't know me, and in some cases people i don't even like, frankly just sucks.
anyway, fine, i can deal with a few unwanted guests at my henna ceremony if i have to. what i really can't stand is my parents' controlling attitude towards this whole wedding process. they seriously seem to think they have the right to plan my wedding their way and not heed my input or wishes. and because my parents are paying, and i don't want to fight or argue, i always bend in the end. but i swear to baby Jesus if my mother tells me to shut up and keep my opinions to myself again on any aspect of this wedding, i'm going to cancel the whole thing, pack up and fly to pakistan and just be with my husband, and then just throw a general reception in a year or so when i have enough money to pay for it myself. what's the point of punishing myself by being apart from my s/o for the sake of the wedding when i won't be happy about the wedding anyway?