by kyks17 » 12/8/2010, 8:17 pm
Here are the numerous issues:
1. As Josh said, etiquette dictates that you make no mention of gifts or registries or anything of that sort in any kind of physical item (such as save the dates, invitations, or even extra inserts in the invitations). That's why we did what Josh listed above - listed the website, which contained registry info among plenty of other info.
2. The reason you can't actually mention it anywhere (before the internet it was just by word of mouth, but websites are considered fair game when it comes to etiquette) is because gifts. are. not. required. of your guests. It is rare that someone will actually not give you a gift, but all the same it is not required and so mentioning it in your invitation or something is a put off. It's kind of like saying, don't bother coming if you're not giving me something.
3. Some people love to give money cuz it's such an easy gift. No shopping, just write a check and done. In fact the majority of our gifts was money, and we had a fully stocked registry. I noticed it was the people we were less close to, primarily, who gave us money - maybe cuz they thought it was the ideal gift for not knowing us that well, maybe they never went to the website and hence never saw the registry, who knows.
4. If you do one of those honeymoon-fund registry websites they have out there, they end up taking a big chunk of the money you get, in the 5-10% range. That's quite a chunk just to serve as essentially a bank.
5. Do not be that person who makes their own checkout on their wedding website to combat issue #4. My bridesmaid's friend got married a month before her and she quite literally had put a checkout on her wedding website (and yes they wrote the site themselves), where you could elect "1 night on the cruise" which was like $1000, or "dinner out in Italy" ($100), etc. They had cutesie names to make you feel like you were giving them that actual experience, but really you were just paying them. And that's what it felt like - PAYING your friend, not giving them a gift.
So really, I guess I don't have any suggestions on what you *should* do, but I do know what not to do! Which is really what weddings are all about haha.
I thought your poem was really cute. It didn't sound greedy or like you wanted your guests to pay you, which is the most important part. You could probably put it on your wedding website and include the link in your invite like we did? We just had one of those free ones from those wedding planning sites.
I guess probably the best would be if you tell your parents and ask them to spread the word. That should at least communicate it to your families, and if you're lucky, a friend will ask you about your registry and spread the news amongst friends too.
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Yeah Hub!!
I <3 my Joshy! Josh #1!!