ClumsyMonkey.net

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 3:53 pm

MTV NEWS
THis is KURT LODER AGAIN>
the demise of BASSIST DUNCAN COUTTS has been false. We now have comfirm reports that the CN tower was a hoax. The whereabouts of the kidnappers and Raine still seem to baffle even the experts. We have herd word that they are bringing in experts who have dealt with this before.

by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 3:54 pm

Bradford How: We have an update! The legendary OLP bassist is apparently imbued with freakish-alien-regeneration powers, and is in perfect health after a messy couple minutes! Though he could not regenerate his clothes, and now joins OLP guitarist Steve Mazur in running around the streets of TO stark naked. Bassists everywhere wince, and rejoice.

by **Xavier870** » 10/3/2002, 3:55 pm

^ Gay men everywhere run to Toronto.

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 3:55 pm

by **liam** » 10/3/2002, 3:56 pm

by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 3:56 pm

by **fluttergirl** » 10/3/2002, 3:58 pm

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 3:59 pm

THIS IS GEORGE STMPOULOUS(WHATEVER) and we now have comfirm news of Naked Men running down Queen street in hope sof seeing a barking STEVE MAZUR.
As many of you are aware a little over an hour ago, Lead Singer of OLP was kidnapped by a group of Women and Men who say they are part of the the prestiagious group THE CM. No one can confirm this group at this time and there is very little word coming over the wires. There have been several sighings but nobody has seen Raine except the band and they are trying to work out a deal withthe kidnappers. We hear from unreliable sources they may trade Raine for Steve.

by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 3:59 pm

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:03 pm

by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 4:04 pm

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:06 pm

by **superboots** » 10/3/2002, 4:06 pm

by **fluttergirl** » 10/3/2002, 4:08 pm

by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 4:08 pm

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:08 pm

this just in from the KIDNAPPERS.
we will never give him back. he is our SEX SLAVE unless you send over that other HOTTIE STEVE MAZUR/.

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:09 pm

by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 4:14 pm

by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:17 pm

when last seen our Dynamo DUO
Agent Coutts and Agent Taggart were in hot pursuit of some BEER and CHIPS in the OLP-MOBILE.

by **superboots** » 10/3/2002, 4:19 pm

*Bethany arrives in Toronto, finds an internet cafe and views the cm*

Me:

Disappearance of Raine thread??? What is going on? Has all that is good in this world been destroyed!?!?!

Gail: we will never give him back. he is our SEX SLAVE unless you send over that other HOTTIE STEVE MAZUR.

Me: They want Steve, and they haven't called me in on this? :wtf:

I can't believe it! And I'm their Mazurite President!!!!

*Through the wonders of the internet, finds Lori's phone number, and gets the answering machine*

Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now because I am partaking in an OLP abduction, leave me a message!

Me: Where are you? What is going on? I want answers! You can't take kidnap my Stevie and not tell me about it!

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