by Odin » 2/12/2003, 3:35 am
I'm bored, I'm stupid, I have no life, love me dammit
It's 4am again. Everynight I go to bed and ask myself "what's the point", every morning I wake up I ask myself again "what's the meaning of this". Been enjoying my solitude lately, been sitting in front of the innate computer screen as well. What's the meaning for all this, everything and nothing, that's all there is to this world, everything and nothing.
I'm suppose to be working, I'm suppose to be doing a lot of things, I'm suppose to be saving children in this world from starving and protesting against whatever war that's going on in this world, and so are you. What are you doing in the room? Go out! It's a great day today! You got sunshine, clouds drifting by, kids rolling on the grass field wearing their orthadoxic smiles, go out and have some fresh air! That's exactly what you need! Go do some exercises! You should be physical because you're a physical specie, you use your muscles because you have them! True true true, all true, yet they are all contrary to my desires! Please just leave me here, my bed is where I belong, my pillow is all I ever wanted, really.
The above situation has granted my solitude, great! No one bothers me anymore! This feels great! I wonder if I'm locked up in the room right now with no internet access, will I still be learning. We're constantly changing, and our knowledge comes from our perception of past experience, everything except mathematics and logic is learned that way. What if I'm locked up in a room surrounded by un-symbolistic white walls? What happens then? Do I mentally stop changing? Or will I just sit there, meditate and eventually be enlightened? Perhaps I should throw away my computer now, that should do me good.
As you can see, I'm bored, stop reading please because it's all complete crap from beginning to end.
Lately I'm getting tired of those "life is..." metaphors, life is really everything that you make it out to be. That's just like Clumsyboy's member title: "So Un-original".
My friend just came into my room, he left the following message:
Why don't you just commit suicide, that'll save everyone the trouble.
Sorry but I've gone through the whole nihilist existentialist bullshit, don't even attempt to drag me back into that.
Have you tried google searching your own name? It's just satisfying to find your own name on the internet, I tried that, couldn't find my name, guess that's pretty expected. Maybe the great Jeff can find his name, since he's just a celebrity.
God, there, I said it. The whole God topic is just so overdone, yet we still use this term everyday, it's just generally cool thing to make reference to God every once in a while. Whether you believe him, don't believe him, you can't help but to emphasize it everyday to everyone surrounding you. Well, good for you, most of the time no one cares what you're saying. It's just like those "Your 5 favourite albums/bands/books etc" thread, it's made purely for self-indulgence, more people post on those threads than actually reading what others have to say, because no one could really care less.
Thank you for reading my long dysjointed rant. May your soul find it's rightful place in nature. Now let's tune back to our regular scheduled boredom shall we.
Al's emails put a smile on my face, even though all they say is "You've got a private message!"