ClumsyMonkey.net

Reciprocity

Show off your art.
A pop-up book of flowers from grade 4 are driving her insane...

Reciprocity

Postby veryoldshoelace » 12/14/2004, 11:50 pm

A short story that I wrote.
Last edited by veryoldshoelace on 10/29/2005, 4:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
veryoldshoelace
 
Posts: 437
Joined: 3/18/2002, 7:09 pm

Postby Joe Cooler » 12/14/2004, 11:58 pm

I like it. I think it ends rather suddenly though. Maybe through in a better clinching statement? I'm all about those although I'm not good at writing.
Joe Cooler
 

Postby veryoldshoelace » 12/15/2004, 12:02 am

i need to add some, my brain stopped working though, i couldnt remember anymore
thanks though
veryoldshoelace
 
Posts: 437
Joined: 3/18/2002, 7:09 pm

Postby closeyoureyes » 12/15/2004, 12:06 am

I agree, a better ending sentence would give it a more solidified ending.

btw: Edinboro University as in, Scotland?
sinead
closeyoureyes
Oskar Winner: 2006
Oskar Winner: 2006
 
Posts: 4746
Joined: 8/2/2003, 1:36 pm

Postby veryoldshoelace » 12/15/2004, 8:00 am

n
Last edited by veryoldshoelace on 12/24/2013, 9:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
veryoldshoelace
 
Posts: 437
Joined: 3/18/2002, 7:09 pm

Postby veryoldshoelace » 12/15/2004, 12:57 pm

I added some more . . . though i dont htink that this ending is much better
veryoldshoelace
 
Posts: 437
Joined: 3/18/2002, 7:09 pm

Postby happening fish » 12/15/2004, 4:36 pm

Oh my god.

Are you spying on me?
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
User avatar
happening fish
Oskar Winner: 2006
Oskar Winner: 2006
 
Posts: 17934
Joined: 3/17/2002, 11:22 am

Postby veryoldshoelace » 12/15/2004, 7:28 pm

no, why?
veryoldshoelace
 
Posts: 437
Joined: 3/18/2002, 7:09 pm

Postby Lando » 12/15/2004, 7:36 pm

Charlie Sheen was in a movie called Terminal Velocity.
Image
User avatar
Lando
Oskar Lifetime Achievement Award: 2005
Oskar Lifetime Achievement Award: 2005
 
Posts: 13395
Joined: 3/13/2002, 12:16 am
Location: Canada

Postby superrgirll » 12/15/2004, 8:12 pm

my physics teacher had that movie poster in our classroom.
-lori
she's a fool for the last living rock king
http://www.livejournal.com/~got_to_get_away/

HARDCORE!
superrgirll
Oskar Winner: 2006
Oskar Winner: 2006
 
Posts: 11216
Joined: 3/13/2002, 10:59 pm
Location: toronto


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests

Delete all board cookies • All times are UTC - 6 hours • PHPBB Powered

Serving Our Lady Peace fans since 2002. Oskar Twitch thanks you for tasting the monkey brains.

cron