pouring out your soul
by trentm32 » 4/29/2004, 2:46 pm
, I just fixed my typo. I had spelt "traipse" as "trapse". 
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
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trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
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by trentm32 » 4/29/2004, 6:53 pm
:O
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
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trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
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by trentm32 » 4/29/2004, 7:17 pm
this is about a dream; it's the rough version, the first one I wrote; so an edit'll probably pop up tomorrows when I'm more awake to write 
"forever sitting at your bedside" [re-edited 04/30/04]
I don't want to dance this dance anymore,
the songs grown tired, and so have I
you just don't even care at all,
ending it all on that small sigh
you keep on forgetting those steps,
that it took me so long to know
can't even grasp the music anymore,
reality becomes lost in the flow
the way it once was is gone forever,
nothing left but this disarray
our beautiful dance has gone so clumsy,
and we're beginning to drift away
fall through the cracks of wonderland,
ever deeper down the rabbit's hole
the world we loved turned upside down,
forever lost it's total control
it's amazing how simple things once were,
flashback to a past lounged in the sun
youth stopped time for our short Summer,
our parallel lives lived as one
how I wish we could do this forever,
never ending this perfect dream
but even before I've fallen asleep,
I know it's nothing but my mind's scheme
and I'm just putting my life together,
not caring so much as implied
it's like a puzzle that's missing pieces,
forever sitting at your bedside
"forever sitting at your bedside" [re-edited 04/30/04]
I don't want to dance this dance anymore,
the songs grown tired, and so have I
you just don't even care at all,
ending it all on that small sigh
you keep on forgetting those steps,
that it took me so long to know
can't even grasp the music anymore,
reality becomes lost in the flow
the way it once was is gone forever,
nothing left but this disarray
our beautiful dance has gone so clumsy,
and we're beginning to drift away
fall through the cracks of wonderland,
ever deeper down the rabbit's hole
the world we loved turned upside down,
forever lost it's total control
it's amazing how simple things once were,
flashback to a past lounged in the sun
youth stopped time for our short Summer,
our parallel lives lived as one
how I wish we could do this forever,
never ending this perfect dream
but even before I've fallen asleep,
I know it's nothing but my mind's scheme
and I'm just putting my life together,
not caring so much as implied
it's like a puzzle that's missing pieces,
forever sitting at your bedside
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
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- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
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by trentm32 » 4/30/2004, 12:50 pm
not too sure what this is about, just kinda scrawled it a few minutes ago...
"riding the train"
I always loved to ride the train,
the window's view always so new
waiting through the thread thin frost,
lightly accented by the morning dew
there are so many places to go,
we haven't even left the station
all I need is my typed ticket,
to go anywhere in the nation
much more careful than a car ride,
never lifting from it's tracks
the stillness makes it easier,
just to wander and relax
we've made it to the waiting wings,
so I'll climb aboard this coach
trusting my life to this conception,
run by cold charcoal and smoke
the world's beckoning my life,
asking for my company in solitude
and I'll always be by your side,
without a thing left unpursued
"riding the train"
I always loved to ride the train,
the window's view always so new
waiting through the thread thin frost,
lightly accented by the morning dew
there are so many places to go,
we haven't even left the station
all I need is my typed ticket,
to go anywhere in the nation
much more careful than a car ride,
never lifting from it's tracks
the stillness makes it easier,
just to wander and relax
we've made it to the waiting wings,
so I'll climb aboard this coach
trusting my life to this conception,
run by cold charcoal and smoke
the world's beckoning my life,
asking for my company in solitude
and I'll always be by your side,
without a thing left unpursued
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
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by trentm32 » 5/2/2004, 11:42 pm
thank ya.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
- Location: my heart is in New York.
by trentm32 » 5/3/2004, 4:16 pm
I edited the tar outta the poem I barely even remember posting last night at like 1 in the morning (I just deleted the post), so here's the uber-newer, re-titled, and mostly re-written...
it's about falling in love with a friend, but not having the cahunas to make a move (well, atleast superficially)...
"as you still hold my heart"
I wish there was a place,
that I could say I lost my heart
but I left mine here with you,
before my life could start
if only you were a stranger,
in some great city on my way
then this would be sadder,
but such a beautiful cliche
do you see everything that I am,
or just the things I'm not
and all the things you don't see,
are the things I know you've sought
when I see you my mind flickers,
I can't find the words to say
everything I wish I could,
and the moment I'l replay
I see you all the time,
in my life you've always been
but not the way I want you,
and my will becomes so thin
to take a chance could wreck,
the routine we walk each day
but is the chance worth taking,
will you meet me there halfway
evetually I'll walk that road,
and say exactly what I feel
I just fear that you won't see it,
and know that this is real
but to live this way is something,
we're together yet so apart
for now I'll just accept that,
as you still hold my heart
it's about falling in love with a friend, but not having the cahunas to make a move (well, atleast superficially)...
"as you still hold my heart"
I wish there was a place,
that I could say I lost my heart
but I left mine here with you,
before my life could start
if only you were a stranger,
in some great city on my way
then this would be sadder,
but such a beautiful cliche
do you see everything that I am,
or just the things I'm not
and all the things you don't see,
are the things I know you've sought
when I see you my mind flickers,
I can't find the words to say
everything I wish I could,
and the moment I'l replay
I see you all the time,
in my life you've always been
but not the way I want you,
and my will becomes so thin
to take a chance could wreck,
the routine we walk each day
but is the chance worth taking,
will you meet me there halfway
evetually I'll walk that road,
and say exactly what I feel
I just fear that you won't see it,
and know that this is real
but to live this way is something,
we're together yet so apart
for now I'll just accept that,
as you still hold my heart
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
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by trentm32 » 5/4/2004, 2:38 pm
wrote this a few minutes ago, just got bored...
"on the road so tossed"
lost in the running,
drown if you can
just keep on shunning,
things that you stand
it's such a fine art,
a tightrope of lies
but it all comes apart,
because nobody tries
the way that you move,
it's so full of grace
know I can't prove,
you're in this place
a skill of the true,
take's ego to manage
it's just a debut,
to all of my baggage
the change is so gentle,
the world just get's darker
it slows to a trickle,
and forgets how to sparkle
degradation and entropy,
to a measured degree
we just get more worldly,
as it comes too easy
just throw me down,
in a city so lost
start walking uptown,
on the road so tossed
"on the road so tossed"
lost in the running,
drown if you can
just keep on shunning,
things that you stand
it's such a fine art,
a tightrope of lies
but it all comes apart,
because nobody tries
the way that you move,
it's so full of grace
know I can't prove,
you're in this place
a skill of the true,
take's ego to manage
it's just a debut,
to all of my baggage
the change is so gentle,
the world just get's darker
it slows to a trickle,
and forgets how to sparkle
degradation and entropy,
to a measured degree
we just get more worldly,
as it comes too easy
just throw me down,
in a city so lost
start walking uptown,
on the road so tossed
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
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by Shrug-It-Off » 5/4/2004, 3:56 pm
Well done, i really like the edited version of the first one,
...and I'm praying for rain, I'm praying for tidal waves, I want to see the ground give way, I want to watch it all go down...
- Shrug-It-Off
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- Location: Canada
by trentm32 » 5/4/2004, 10:09 pm
thanks; I put a pretty good bit of thought into that one.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
- Location: my heart is in New York.
by trentm32 » 5/4/2004, 10:17 pm
thanks bro; hey, that new avatar's pretty cool. what is it?
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
- Location: my heart is in New York.
by trentm32 » 5/5/2004, 9:59 am
ohhhhh, I see it now. sweeeeet.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
- Location: my heart is in New York.
by trentm32 » 5/5/2004, 3:35 pm
scribbled this out a few minutes ago; it's kind of about leaving home, and living with the decisions you've made, and looking back with regret. Don't really know why I wrote it (I haven't really left home yet, and I don' regret too much I've done) just kinda got inspired. Go figure ...
"check the weather in Manhattan"
check the weather in Manhattan,
where the grey sky lingers low
wander through the boulevards,
and take in the city's show
it's raining all the way up there,
starting to think it never stops
at least the sun is shining here,
but it quickly starts to drop
all the people up there on Chelsea,
so wrapped up in their stumble home
don't think the city blocks ever end,
ycan always find some more to roam
maybe if the sky up there is clouded,
I'll catch a plane and fit right in
the deepest fog to block the stars,
a battle for breath you just can't win
I'll be sure to see you soon,
since it's a small world after all
been here long enough we're bound to find,
the reason that we can't help but fall
I had hoped a visit to this place,
would put my world into perspective
but the only thing that I've done,
is become a bit more retrospective
somehow I always find myself,
on an empty subway train at night
there's never anyone else to talk to,
I start to forget why I even fight
everything's just so cold and harsh,
why couldn't I just be content
stayed in my kind small corner,
with my best year's left unspent
but the power of that wanderlust,
struck with more than I could take
so I ceaselessly must wander on,
forever waiting for my daybreak
...
"check the weather in Manhattan"
check the weather in Manhattan,
where the grey sky lingers low
wander through the boulevards,
and take in the city's show
it's raining all the way up there,
starting to think it never stops
at least the sun is shining here,
but it quickly starts to drop
all the people up there on Chelsea,
so wrapped up in their stumble home
don't think the city blocks ever end,
ycan always find some more to roam
maybe if the sky up there is clouded,
I'll catch a plane and fit right in
the deepest fog to block the stars,
a battle for breath you just can't win
I'll be sure to see you soon,
since it's a small world after all
been here long enough we're bound to find,
the reason that we can't help but fall
I had hoped a visit to this place,
would put my world into perspective
but the only thing that I've done,
is become a bit more retrospective
somehow I always find myself,
on an empty subway train at night
there's never anyone else to talk to,
I start to forget why I even fight
everything's just so cold and harsh,
why couldn't I just be content
stayed in my kind small corner,
with my best year's left unspent
but the power of that wanderlust,
struck with more than I could take
so I ceaselessly must wander on,
forever waiting for my daybreak
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
-
trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
- Location: my heart is in New York.
by trentm32 » 5/6/2004, 11:07 am
got to dwelling on something that happened a week or so ago, and came out with this...
"too afraid to try"
I thought I was caught up in the moment,
but I had just gotten lost in your eyes
think I could gaze into them forever,
that way I'd never have to say goodbye
I feel like I could tell you anything,
everything but what I'm dying to say
searching for a nonchalant comment,
to think of something to make you stay
we were talking so much about past loves,
but I was dwelling so much on you
a million words running through my head,
about all the things that I can't do
my soul was just aching to kiss you,
and it has been for far too long
but I know you won't kiss me back,
and if that happens I'm not that strong
so just after an hour or so,
I turned away and said goodbye
getting even more angry with myself,
because I was too afraid too try
"too afraid to try"
I thought I was caught up in the moment,
but I had just gotten lost in your eyes
think I could gaze into them forever,
that way I'd never have to say goodbye
I feel like I could tell you anything,
everything but what I'm dying to say
searching for a nonchalant comment,
to think of something to make you stay
we were talking so much about past loves,
but I was dwelling so much on you
a million words running through my head,
about all the things that I can't do
my soul was just aching to kiss you,
and it has been for far too long
but I know you won't kiss me back,
and if that happens I'm not that strong
so just after an hour or so,
I turned away and said goodbye
getting even more angry with myself,
because I was too afraid too try
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
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trentm32 - Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
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