by trentm32 » 4/22/2004, 4:09 pm
"stumble with grace" [RE-EDITED AS OF 04/23/04]
this shallow person, he keeps me afloat
can't take him away, I'm just a footnote
may not be sound, but the world thinks he's cool
that's all that matters, God I'm a fool
crank up the music, drown out myself
just make it louder, pull down the shelf
a nice cliche, more garish the better,
I told her to stop, best to just let her
a thin leather jacket, act like I don't care
conformist rebellion, and I'm in repair
what we need changes, every look out the door
and I still can't see, what we're fighting for
feigning like truth, so long you forget
the person you are, and what you have spent
it's the mask that I wear, at least the most
got to pick my lie, just avoid the ghost
turn up the volume, can't get any louder
nothing changes, you couldn't be prouder
a tawdry facade, full of flash and fret
been going too long, can't let it stop yet
shed all these layers, therein lies the fear,
once they're all gone, then what'll be here
something more, that's what I'll wish
doubt that it's granted, not so stylish
maybe she'll love him, with the shallow all gone
or maybe it won't help, and I'm just a pawn
if it doesn't work out, then there's no going back
gotta live with myself, and get used to the lack
I'm a walking cliche, every step becomes more
my nonchalant shell, slowly losing the core
beauty inside, the world made it not true
can't forget what they think, I see it in you
hang up my jacket, fill a closet with nothing
wish there was more, there's gotta be something
replete the world, let the real me just flow
will it just start to pour, God I don't know
let it be change, maybe just what I need
to lose my compliance, and learn how to lead
but with everything gone, there's just so much space
gotta learn how to walk, and stumble with grace
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>