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Blotted Ink

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A pop-up book of flowers from grade 4 are driving her insane...

Blotted Ink

Postby Candy-coated Fake » 1/20/2004, 11:18 am

Alrighty, here goes. No stealing if you like it. :P

Blotted Ink
By Richele

Nobody notices the cord choking my speech
my hands search frantically to write what I think
Nobody smells my perfume mixed with semen unwanted
or my fingers splattered with saliva not mine
I guess you can't open my eyes and read the pages
'cause they're full of unfinished phrases

And I feel so unclean tonight
though I've scrubbed my hands raw and bleeding
to wash them pure of the blotted ink

I can't close my ears to the sound of breath
leaking like poison and drowning my cries
I cannot help but be allergic to touches of skin
it brings back too much that I don't want to feel
The deed's been done, the price has gone unpaid
and now I'm stolen and all of my worth is drained

And I feel so unclean tonight
though I've scrubbed my hands raw and bleeding
to wash them white of the blotted ink

Now I'm stolen...and worth that much less


Comment away.
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Postby Random Name » 1/20/2004, 11:24 am

Wow. I'm very impressed.
-Sarah

Goodbye you liar,
Well you sipped from the cup but you don't own up to anything
Then you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
(and I wish I could inspire)
Take apart your demons, then you add it to the list.

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Postby thirdhour » 1/20/2004, 10:28 pm

Holy shit richele. Um. huh, wow. that was amazing. Now get your ass back on msn.


One thing; the second line could be reworked a little. I get what its saying, but its a little too bland. Other than that, I applaud you.
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Postby Candy-coated Fake » 1/21/2004, 3:07 pm

I might be able to get MSN Messenger on my phone so don't worry. :) You'll have more Richele than you can handle. :P
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Postby starseed_10 » 1/21/2004, 4:06 pm

awewsome.

the first stanza was a bit awkward until i re-read it... i think taking a sylable or two out of the third line might help it. but that's just me.

otherwise, nice work.
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Postby thirdhour » 1/21/2004, 4:21 pm

Candy-coated Fake wrote:I might be able to get MSN Messenger on my phone so don't worry. :) You'll have more Richele than you can handle. :P



*dances*
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