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A pop-up book of flowers from grade 4 are driving her insane...

Postby call me andrew » 4/23/2003, 5:29 am

i especially like the second stanza in that one alex
and now its international security. the call of the righteous men.
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Postby happening fish » 5/1/2003, 6:20 pm

calmly, watching me with your blue eyes
did you ever stop to realize
i was watching you right back

testing, grievous empty people
catch me in your loophole
everything that i lack

twisting, calling in the vanguard
silently i stand guard
wanting you with me

purpose, floating through the fast time
running through my fingers
hating wait and see

:(
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
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Postby lora » 5/1/2003, 7:20 pm

whoa, nice ambiance.
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Postby happening fish » 5/2/2003, 4:14 pm

is it just me or does everything suck :mad:

You punched ragged holes in my heart
With a fist so tender that I hardly felt it
Having trouble feeling anything much

Had to forgive cause I didn’t really care
Except underneath where I’m bleeding
Having trouble caring about much

Laying here sprawled out on a comfortable bed
Draining my life through my fingertips
Having trouble being sure I’m alive
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
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Postby happening fish » 5/3/2003, 5:00 pm

And no one fucking cares either :mad:
awkward is the new cool
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Postby Axtech » 5/3/2003, 6:40 pm

This one is very good. You can really feel the emotion.

happeninfish wrote:You punched ragged holes in my heart
With a fist so tender that I hardly felt it


Those two lines are especially good. The contrast is great. The lines imply two different actions (of tearing into a heart), yet they work together so well.

Bravo! :thumbs:
- -
Image
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down
, I'll find the way to peace and openness.

Image
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
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Postby Axtech » 5/3/2003, 6:40 pm

...and I care. :heythere: :love:
- -
Image
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down
, I'll find the way to peace and openness.

Image
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
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Postby happening fish » 5/4/2003, 9:15 am

:)
awkward is the new cool
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Postby happening fish » 5/21/2003, 3:29 pm

it's been a while. this took me all of chemistry to write... as you can probably tell, i'm not a fan of that class. anyway, this one still needs touching up but i thought i'd put it in here anyway.


i held the boy with the blue eyes that held me
i kissed the boy in the green sweater vest
he's too practical to love anybody
i'm too cynical to care

i saw the face that he hides behind his glasses
i heard him say that our lives are just a game
he's too proud to lean on anybody
i'm too weak to be there

i traded sorrows with the boy who writes stories
i spilled my tears on his green sweater vest
he's too smart to need anybody
i'm too alone to play fair
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
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Postby Axtech » 5/21/2003, 3:34 pm

Very well done. I love the structure of this one (the I, I, He, I setup). :love:
- -
Image
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down
, I'll find the way to peace and openness.

Image
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
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Postby happening fish » 5/21/2003, 6:36 pm

It's a true story, you know.
awkward is the new cool
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Postby Axtech » 5/21/2003, 7:44 pm

Yes, I think I do know. :)

I do, don't I? :freak:
- -
Image
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down
, I'll find the way to peace and openness.

Image
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
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Postby happening fish » 5/21/2003, 8:00 pm

possibly? i don't remember. oh well
awkward is the new cool
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Postby sandsleeper » 5/22/2003, 4:01 pm

i love it. it has a great rythm. :thumbs:
Lick a finger: feel the now.
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Postby happening fish » 9/22/2003, 6:11 pm

it's been a while.
----------------------


Minsky*

as she sat beside me on the couch
this crazy girl
she leaned in and said
"my love
what if our minds are just branches
of a giant human unconscious?"
her voice dropped to a whisper
"would you let me
into your mind?"
i said yes
and she let me
into her pants
awkward is the new cool
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Postby happening fish » 9/23/2003, 12:42 pm

ten days ago the world exploded
with fires and bombs, but no one noticed
i see the death, you walk right past it
and what do we see when we're blind?

ten days ago the earth heaved open
the shattered sky rained jesus fragments
i put my head in my hands and cried
and what do we feel when we're numb?
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
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Postby happening fish » 9/23/2003, 12:46 pm

when the world is made of plastic crap
and love is bought and sold
baby i ain't coming back
to a world without a soul

when the world is ads on cheap TV's
and they love you for your clothes
baby don't wait up for me
i'm taking off on my own

and it's so sad
but it's too late
and it's too bad
i'm taking off

so feed me facial creams and surgery
make my bed on a pile of magazines
but baby don't wait up for me
i'm taking off

and it's so sad
but it's too late
and it's too bad
i'm taking off
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
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Postby trentm32 » 9/23/2003, 2:26 pm

you are, bar none, one of the best amatuer poets I have ever read. way to be.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.

<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
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Postby happening fish » 9/23/2003, 7:36 pm

wow :oops: i think that's the most flattering thing i've ever been told.
awkward is the new cool
[url]gutterhome.blogspot.com[/url]
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Postby Axtech » 9/23/2003, 7:43 pm

Very, very nice! :nod:

I especially like this stanza...

happeningfish wrote:so feed me facial creams and surgery
make my bed on a pile of magazines
but baby don't wait up for me
i'm taking off


I love the "i'm taking off" lines. Interpretable otherwise, but it definately reflects your personality.

I definately agree with Trent. :thumbs:
- -
Image
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down
, I'll find the way to peace and openness.

Image
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
User avatar
Axtech
Oskar Lifetime Achievement Award: 2004
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