I only write poems when I'm sleep deprived, or procrastinating, or in this case, both.
Surgery
If I could extract half my brain,
Leave it in a shallow hole,
Grey matter melting in the rain
A wrinkled mass, unwanted soul
Without the tangled net of nerves
The twisted trap of unchecked thought
The overbearing Self to serve -
The ordered script of Is and Not
To be so simple - eyes that see
Without becoming cheats or spies
And ears that hear, and not decree
Who speak the truth, who can’t tell lies
And no love dropped between the cracks
Of synapses who can’t define
What it is to feel, or to relax
And thus abandon or decline
No, only pure connections now
Between the mind, the soul, the heart
No more struggling to somehow
Unite a person torn apart
And yet -- in nightmares, trapped in dreams
Ghosts would remain of what had been
And castrated, tortured neurons scream
For the person they’d been part of then
And dead alive, human beast
Fractured self, rebuilt awry
Madness lurks, it never ceased
A fury boils, cold and dry...
But I would extract half my brain
Dig out the tumors of my soul
To leave a monster, half-insane
But
only half - and not the whole
3/15/03