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"I'm just standing in the rain"

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A pop-up book of flowers from grade 4 are driving her insane...

"I'm just standing in the rain"

Postby trentm32 » 11/21/2007, 5:47 pm

"I'm just standing in the rain"

"I'm just standing in the rain."
as the words cross my lips,
and I shiver in the cold, I wonder if it's true.
the waves of clear diamonds crashing into me
like tears from God ready to wash it all away

and I wonder why I can't cry
as I lick my cheeks,
and wish I felt the sweet sting of salt
but all I taste is dirty water falling from the sky
baptizing me in mud and sticky clothes,
and shaking hands stretched to the heavens
but reaching only the cold dark

the pale porch-light across the way cries
like a blue light across a bay that I'll never reach,
that will never mean the same as it did when it all began--
in the sunlight, and in the warm nostalgia of youth,
and in the anniversary tears that remind me of the first so long ago
in the crisp dry grass, with streetlights above,
and moths in love with their glow that lights my way

"I'm just standing in the rain."
I say the words aloud again; to no one, to everyone,
to God and the angels and my cold fingers there, all alone
holding pages, leather-bound, as the ink smears
into a sea of dark blue and damp pages--
but I know the ending. A clap of thunder
and I blow the icy smoke that is my breath out in O's--
a happy ending, with smiles and epilogues,
written in ink smeared like blue blood, dripping from my hands
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.

<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
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trentm32
Oskar Winner: 2005
Oskar Winner: 2005
 
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Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
Location: my heart is in New York.

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