by trentm32 » 2/2/2006, 9:14 am
Holy freakin CRAP you rule! I cannot express how much I APPRECIATE this! I am FOREVER indebted to you, really! Now, to hit the high points:
I'm tweaking the flow on his religious beliefs a bit. I feel Alex needs a bit more basis in faith (not at all anywhere near anything even close to near to being considered heavy-handed), because he did grow up in the South. I mean, I live here; it's the friggin' Bible belt! lol! And, I personally do believe in God, et al; and I want the religious perspective to better reflet my own in a loose, NOT heavy-handed way. I swear, I'm handling it well. If I'm not, kick me in the head! lol! His beliefs are pretty much the same, just a bit more grounded. I want to give him a dash more of a spiritual coming-of-age at the end (just a dash; very vague), as well as a maturity and emotional coming around. I swear, I can't wait to show yu the re-writes. If you'd like, once you finish up on that, I'd love to e-mail you what I've got so far. I'm gonna try to get a solid bit done this weekend, as well, as I'll have a little time on my hands.
Also, the postcard thing I actually did on purpose. I thought of it exactly how you got it (which excites me to no END!!!! *gets giddy*). Just the symbolism, etc. And, I expanded on that a tand in the rewrites, too. Heck yus!
The aunt in NY, I thought a lot about her. She comes back to play in the end, and I'm gonna touch her story a bit in the rewrites. I wanted to show her as someone kinda uncorrupted by the money and excess, ya know. She still has a heart, and is (basically) not a bit-ka. I'm gonna flesh her out a tad, though. So w00t.
How his references to home eventually go from hatred to nostalgia was also slipped in there on purpose. I'n the rewrites I'm fixin' them up a little, and accenting the subtlety a bit. It's all lookin' good.
The bit about the song, then the necklace and girl was a complete dumb luck move on my part. THANK YOU for showin' me that one. I didn't even notice it at first bit. I was trying to hit that all thematically throughout the story, but I didn't swing the parallel in my eyes. Thanks caboodles for showing me that one!
I swear, I'm so excited about the rewrites! The story is finally becoming what I envisioned when I first began it, you know? Like I can finally, FINALLY do it justice. I can't wait to show you the rewrites! (If you'd do me the honor of looking at them!)
...peace and love...
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
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