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ClumsyMonkey.net • View topic - The Joke Thread

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The Joke Thread

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Did you want to escape, try to escape the population?

The Joke Thread

Postby Johnny » 5/19/2003, 11:23 am

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Postby Axtech » 5/19/2003, 11:58 am

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Postby Neil » 5/19/2003, 2:24 pm

Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil. - Niccoló Machiavelli
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Postby Axtech » 5/19/2003, 3:10 pm

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Postby Neil » 5/19/2003, 3:16 pm

*Neils Disclaimer* The following, in black text, is a racist joke. I myself, did not make this one up (some of you might have heard it) so read it if ya choose or not......


What do you get when you have 3 Mexicans, 1 Asian, and 4 African Americans???


Give up!?!?


A lawn sprinkler! (spick spick spick CHINK nigga nigga nigga nigga)
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Postby Axtech » 5/19/2003, 4:19 pm

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Postby Johnny » 5/19/2003, 4:54 pm

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Postby thirdhour » 5/19/2003, 5:26 pm

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Postby Axtech » 5/19/2003, 5:28 pm

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Postby thirdhour » 5/19/2003, 5:31 pm

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Postby happening fish » 5/19/2003, 8:24 pm

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Postby Neil » 5/20/2003, 12:32 am

Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil. - Niccoló Machiavelli
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Postby Johnny » 5/21/2003, 12:08 pm

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Postby Johnny » 5/21/2003, 12:10 pm

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Postby Canadian Coast Guard » 5/21/2003, 12:20 pm

Take a hike, you Shatner stealing Mexico touchers.
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Postby Johnny » 5/21/2003, 12:21 pm

Stomach Ache

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his doctor and asks
him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite
serious but can be cured by inserting a suppository up his anal
passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of the pain,
tells him to bend over and shoves the thing way up his behind.
The doctor then hands him a second dose and tells him to do the
same thing in six hours.

So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the
second suppository inserted, but he finds that he cannot reach
himself properly to obtain the required depth. He calls his wife
over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on
his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine
home.

Suddenly the man screams, "AHHH"

"What's the matter?" asks the wife. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," replies the man, "but I just realized that when the doctor
did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders!"




Believe me its there
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Postby Canadian Coast Guard » 5/21/2003, 12:27 pm

If that doesn't ruin your day..............
Take a hike, you Shatner stealing Mexico touchers.
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Postby Johnny » 5/21/2003, 12:29 pm

Construction

There are three construction workers who eat lunch together everyday. A dark-haired guy, a red head, and a blonde guy. They all sit down for lunch on the top of a building that they were working on. The dark-haired guy opens his lunch and sees that his wife had packed him tuna again, his least favorite food. They were having troubles at home and he knew that she was doing this to torture him. He jumped off the building and killed himself. The red head guy opens his lunch and sees that his wife packed him salad, his least favorite. He too was having troubles with his marriage, and decided to kill himself. The blonde guy opens his lunch and sees a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, his least favorite sandwich. He too decides to kill himself.

At the funeral, their wives are all standing and talking together. The dark-haired guy's wife says, "Oh I can't believe I did this to him. I actually caused him to kill himself." The red-head says" Oh I know, I feel so terrible too." They are both crying. The blonde's wife says, "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"
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Postby superboots » 5/23/2003, 7:46 am

HARDCORE!!!

OMG. I can't believe I din't think fo you
until now because when I think on
a scale of one to ten you're like YWELVE.
No, seriously?

I <3 my HLP!!!!!
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Postby Axtech » 5/23/2003, 1:13 pm

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