by welcometoFISHworld » 9/25/2002, 1:12 pm
Don't kick him!!!!
Stomp a mudhole in him.
I lived with 6 of my best friends in this old two-story Victorian house a couple years. I loved them to death, but can you say "Fuckin slobs?" Allen (the rich bastard of the crew, due to inheritence) used to fucking throw his fast food wrappers on the floor. My friend Hunter had a pug named Lucy that would eat anything that smelled like food. Thus, one wrapper would become 17. I was the only one to ever make an effort to cook. I used to bake cookies and make spaghetti and get take 'n' bake pizzas. But the ktichen was so disgusting. No one rinsed their dishes EVER. I bought a teapot because I love a spot of tea in the morning (I'm not gay, I swear). Someone turned it on with NO water in it and FORGOT about it. My teapot, thusly ruined. I made the mistake of unpacking my authentic German beer stein for a party. It was found 4 weeks later under Jason's (the big lovable but inherently flawed guy) bed. It was filled with about 23 roaches (the marijuana variety, not the insect), 14 cigarette butts and the remnants of 7 loogies. Disgusting, yes?
The 'experiment' lasted until two of my friend rescued dogs from the pound. One had scurvy or whooping cough or something and started puking and crapping everywhere. One morning, I opened the staircase door and managed to put one unsocked foot into dog vomit and the other unsocked foot into dog waste. Truly a magical morning.
I moved out 2 days later. The rent was cheap, it was easy to get the band to practice (we all lived there), and it was fun drinking like a fish and smoking like Keith Richards every night, but the experiment failed.
HARDCORE lurker