You failed me Canada!!!

[Kicker774]

Yea that's right the man who said Canada is the greatest place on earth has just been delt a slap in the face by none other than the Toronto Film Maker Commission.

So I'm flipping through the movies to watch in Cinemax and come across a movie called "Last Night"

"Beleiveing the worls about to end, a diverse group of Toronto citizens try to make the most of their final hours."

Toronto?? Nothing bad could ever come out of Toronto!!
Play! Play! Play!

So the scene opens with that Sanda O chick from Desperate Grey's Antamous Housewives or whatever driving down a city street. MOst notably a "Pizza Pizza" sign cathes my eye.

That's a Toronto pizza place I hear about all the time on the Edge!! I see their billboards on the dashes at hockey games!! Woo Canada!!!

So what's her dopey face goes into this destered conveince store grabbing whats left there is to grab. Outside a group of street hoodlums tip over her AMC Pacer so she can't get home. She's obviosuly distrought and breaks down with an even dopier (I'm sure "dopier" isn't a word but critisize me another time grammar natzi's I'm on a rant here) overacting look on her face.

Forward onto another part of the movie: The president or whatever of the Gas company has a long computer printout list of every customer and their phone #'s. He's calling everyone telling them basically ' Thanks for being a customer. We'll keep the gas flowing as long as possible. Merry end of the world.'

Thing is by now they should be getting to WHY the world is ending?
I mean is the Sun going to explode?
Is there an asteriod on a collision course for earth?
Did the terrorists finally win?

No they don't tell you.

They proceed to thell the story of some guy who wants to bang as many women as possible. Unfortunatley their all ugly. As a guy I really don't mind uncessary sex scenes. But as aforementioned they were ugly. Even worse he tries to make a move on the main guy character torwards the end. WTF? I don't wanna see that. Who the hell would want that in the first place. You might as well just go ass to mouth before you do that. (And as we all learned from Clerks: "You never go ass to mouth."

So in the end main character guy and Nurse Sappy Face are together for their final hour on earth.

At this point their all telling each others their life story and then maybe I'm realizing that this is some sort of scam. Maybe the world isn't really going to end. Maybe the Scientologists were wrong. Maybe the clock will continue past midnight and the world will continue on as normal.

But how can things go on being normal after all these earth shatting secrets have been unveild. Unspeakable acts have been acted upon. Lives have been forever changed. How will normal life ever go on after this sham has been revealed.

Well in the end both main characters agree just to commit suicide and shoot each other at the last second.

So as the drama unfolds they do this who slow motion thing while the camera cricles the two holding guns to their respective heads. They stare into each others eyes which are now welling up with tears untill they finally break down and kiss each other at the stroke of midnight.

And then what happens your asking in desperate anticipation of the ultimate doomsday scenario?

Did the 3 horsemen gallop in holding boomboxes over their shoulders playing "The Final Countdown"?

Did the Heavens Gate UFO appear from behind HaleBopps comet trail and wipe out the entire population (Aside from those who drank the magic kool-aid and we're resting peacefull in their beds wearing their Nikes proudly)?

NO.

These damn Canucks had the guall to jsut end the movie right there.

Yea, that's right. Teh whole feather stylus pen scrolled across the screen writing FIN while the credits started to roll.

No skyscrapers crumbling to the ground. No fireballs spitting from every volcano on earth. No explanation whatsoever as to why or how the world ended.

Just fade to balck and roll credits.

WTF is the matter with you Toronto Association of Filmakers Commission?!?!

I beleive Comic Book Guy said it best:
"WORST ENDING EVER!!"

*sigh*
Maybe it's only one movie. I mean everyone makes a mistake right?

Let me google up and see what else has been made by these fruads.

Oh what's this?
Ray Romano and Gene Hackman stars in 'Welcome to Mooseport' ????

Excuse me while I go slip on my purple armband and drink me some of that Kool-Aid. See you all on Utopia guys!! For those left behind I'll be sure put in a good word with Tom Cruise for you.

[Neil]

Ummmm. Ok.

[Johnny]

What?

[afealicious]

What the hell

[crustine]

too long...my attention span could not be held

[myownsatellite]

[Matt.]

[laurel]

[Lando]

[xjsb125]

[Johnny]

[afealicious]

[Kicker774]

[laurel]

[Lando]

[beautiful liar]

[Random Name]

[Neil]

[myownsatellite]

[Neil]