ClumsyMonkey.net

by **thirdhour** » 6/20/2006, 12:47 pm

dear so-called 'family',

so i know that i havent seen you, my aunt and uncle, in about 7 years and we are by no means close, that doesn't mean you have to make me feel guilty for attempting to stay with you while i happened to be in montreal. in fact, i didn't even ask. all i said was "hi, it's really good to talk to you, perhaps we could see each other while i'm here (which i have been all of once since i was born), so it's not like i'm constantly on your doorstep asking for a place to stay. sure, i didn't exactly call you up weeks in advance to co-ordinate schedules, but the fact that you were out of town when i happened to call definatly inconvienced me more than it did you, so why claim that i "expected you to plan your life around me without giving you advanced notice"? i asked if we could see each other. if you just couldn't bear that, than you should of been polite, said that it wouldn't work out and tell me to call another time. instead you have made me feel like i don't even have a right to get to know my dad's half of the family. as if i'm ever going to call you or anyone else in your family ever again. i wasn't hoping for much, just maybe a dinner invitation sometime in the next year when you are the only people i know when i'm alone in a new city. but apparently that was too much to ask for.

ps, fuck you and your self-righteous morality. so my dad didn't raise me jewish. at least he tought me that family was important.

all my love,

your un-neice

wow, i think that letter was longer than the conversation that insired it.

by **Rusty** » 6/20/2006, 3:15 pm

by **Henrietta** » 6/20/2006, 3:17 pm

by **Random Name** » 6/20/2006, 4:11 pm

by **Kathy** » 6/20/2006, 4:22 pm

by **magicseamonkey** » 6/20/2006, 6:32 pm

by **Axtech** » 6/20/2006, 7:20 pm

by **thirdhour** » 6/20/2006, 9:23 pm

dear megan,

this thread is quite lovely. thank you for starting it.

all my love,
a grateful cmer

ps. LOUD NOISES

by **quietorloud** » 6/20/2006, 10:00 pm

Dear Darren's hay fever.

You have been lingering inside of me for many many many seasons since I can remember. It is time for you to depart my body. You are useless, troublesome, and annoying as fuck. A bad fuck, mind you. Do you know how many tissue boxes I go through, all because you like to fill my nose with massive amounts of green snot?? Do you know how many times you make me sneeze in just one hour? No, because I can't even count it. You make me a driving hazard, because I need to close my eyes when I sneeze, and since my hands have to be on the wheel, I can't cover my mouth and so the passengers get kinda annoyed when they see my sneeze particles in the car. You ruin perfectly beautiful sunny days. There have been so many sunny days that I simply could not enjoy like everyone else because you like to clog up my nose, make me sneeze an unsensable amount of time, make my eyes itch so it looks like I am crying, make me drowzy so I get so tired from all the sneezing. My parents have spent so much money on Reactine, the pills that are suppose to make your symptons die, but you've made me feel that I need to take them so often, that my body is now immune to it. You suck. Can't you not exist anymore???

PS: I didn't mind Asthma as much as you. Atleast Asthma was smart enough to know when his time was up. But you're just a dumb fuck that doesn't know when to quit. You better not interfere with my Provincial exams tomorrow and Thursday, because that'd just be fucking messed.

Darren

by **Rusty** » 6/20/2006, 10:11 pm

Have you tried Flonase? I like flonase.

by **ihatethunderbay** » 6/21/2006, 9:10 am

by **myownsatellite** » 6/21/2006, 8:59 pm

by **Kaegan** » 6/21/2006, 9:55 pm

by **Sonya** » 6/21/2006, 11:30 pm

by **afealicious** » 6/22/2006, 9:44 am

by **afealicious** » 6/22/2006, 9:47 am

by **Kathy** » 6/22/2006, 12:08 pm

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