'Secret messages' hidden in Harry Potter books
28 Jul 2005 by Peter Gee
Bloomsbury, publisher of the Harry Potter series by author JK Rowling, yesterday denied that the Harry Potter books contain thousands of secret messages relating to Devil worship and futuristic predictions.
Doreen Mullet, an amateur Graphologist and Astrologer, claims to have identified over three hundred hidden phrases in the latest book 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince', including 'Worship the Devil', 'I like the Devil', 'The Devil is cool' and 'Kill Mummy'. Doreen also claims that earlier Harry Potter books foretell: the invasion of Iraq, the imminent invasions of Iran and France, the Isle of Wight gaining independence in 2017 and George Bush divorcing his wife and marrying Donald Rumsfeld in a surprise gay marriage ceremony to be conducted on his Texas ranch in 2009.
"Obviously Doreen has discovered something quite significant here," said Doctor Douglas Ramsbottom, an Astrologer who runs his own business from a council estate in South Manchester. "All the phrases, referred to as the D'Potter code in astrology circles, can indeed be made from individual letters, page numbers and the ISBN numbers of the Harry Potter books".
A spokesman for Bloomsbury commented, "Following this logic, people can obviously make up any sentences they like." But Doreen insists: "The evidence is there for all to see", pointing out that even the phrase 'prayer troth', an anagram of 'Harry Potter', means 'prayer belief'.
JK Rowling was unavailable for comment yesterday and understood to be 'resting' having spent an exhausting two days writing the final adventure of the Boy Wizard entitled 'Harry Potter and the Black Prince'.
DeadBrain can exclusively reveal that 'Harry Potter and the Black Prince' is the story of Harry's eighteenth birthday party, where he spends an interesting evening with his chums at a mysterious public house called the 'Black Prince'. There, Harry turns eight pints of lager into six pints of green liquid and an assortment of diced vegetables. The suspense starts when Harry and his fellow students discover that their memories from the previous evening have been erased, including the tragic death of Harry's best friend Ron Weasley, who tries to fly off the roof of the 'Black Prince' using a bar stool and a pair of serviettes.

ahhh. *wipes tears from eyes*