Jokes that shouldn't be funny but somehow are

sandsleeper · Post by **sandsleeper** » 10/3/2003, 8:35 am

!!!

i love that!

Axtech · Post by **Axtech** » 10/3/2003, 11:33 am

made to heal · Post by **made to heal** » 10/5/2003, 6:13 pm

BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 10/5/2003, 11:47 pm

haha that's awesome!

nikki4982 · Post by **nikki4982** » 10/7/2003, 2:36 am

God, I love this thread... the Canadian warship thing... man... this part really cracked me up:

... we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

And, the Tom Jones joke??? :lol:

Gold.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 10/7/2003, 9:46 am

that picture is PRICELESS!

:lol:

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/25/2003, 7:29 pm

I thought this was funny, but not funny enough for it's own thread.

Solidarity 9-6347 · Post by **Solidarity 9-6347** » 10/25/2003, 7:39 pm

carnival_7 wrote:

happening fish · Post by **happening fish** » 10/25/2003, 11:01 pm

That remote rocks :lol:

Shirt > Off :lol:

I AM ME · Post by **I AM ME** » 10/25/2003, 11:15 pm

that warship one was priceless!

Dr. Hobo · Post by **Dr. Hobo** » 10/26/2003, 2:35 am

i agree

i missed it apparently originally
but holy fuck is that good :lol:

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/26/2003, 11:17 am

starseed_10 · Post by **starseed_10** » 10/26/2003, 12:00 pm

anything making fun of creed is priceless.

my contribution:

why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
he didn't have the guts. :lol:

Random Name · Post by **Random Name** » 10/26/2003, 12:29 pm

This is more of an Ottawa thing...so no one will understand. But I love it.

Why did the Plane crash?
'Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread!!!!
:lol:

nikki4982 · Post by **nikki4982** » 10/27/2003, 1:21 am

Here's one I heard on the radio when I was little, and at the time found absolutely hilarious.

Three vampires walk into a bar. Bartender asks the first vampire what he wants, and he replies, "one pint of blood, please." Bartender asks the second vampire the same thing, he replies, "I'll have the same." He asks the third vampire, and he replies, "a mug of plasma." Bartender says, "OK, so that's two bloods, and a blood light."

Bud-um ching!

:lol:

How cheesy.

Sonya · Post by **Sonya** » 10/28/2003, 12:24 am

A guy walks into a bar.

Ouch.

Eelco · Post by **Eelco** » 10/28/2003, 4:10 am

Came across these at the Stereophonics board. They probably really old, but still made me smile:

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer

Why are drummer jokes all one-liners? So that bass players can understand them.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Twenty. One to hold the bulb and nineteen to drink until the room spins.

How may lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? One, he holds the light bulb as the world revolves around him.

nikki4982 · Post by **nikki4982** » 10/28/2003, 4:36 am

Ahh, musician humor. This isn't really a joke, but those jokes reminded me of it. My boyfriend sent this to me and all of his bandmates yeeeeeeeears ago so we knew how to take care of him. :lol:

How To Care For A Drummer: The Instruction Manual

Congratulations!!!
You are now the proud owner of your very own drummer!!

By following these simple instructions, you too can keep your Drummer happy and healthy. These directions will ensure that your Drummer will give you years of enjoyment.

STARTING OUT

1) Your Drummer comes with its own sticks, but it will need drums or some other suitable surface for him to hit. Otherwise, he may begin to find his own means of amusement. This can result in "unhousebroken" drumming, which can damage furniture and decrease the value of your home, as well as leave unsightly scrach-marks on your floor.

2) You may find that in the first months of ownership, your Drummer is somewhat uncoordinated. This is normal. It may seem cute at first, but can become irritating. Nevertheless, do not discourage him. Positive reinforcement is the best way for your drummer to succeed. On occasion, your Drummer may become angry if he cannot figure out a certain beat. This can result in cursing and throwing of sticks. If this happens, threaten to play the rest of the song in odd time until he cools down. After he figures out the part that was giving him so much trouble, be extra nice to him and offer him food or a nerf ball (or similar trinket) and tell him how "badass" he is. This kind of situation should occur less and less frequently until around the sixth month, when it should stop completely.

UPKEEP

1) Now your drummer is just reaching full maturity. He has gained the speed, timing, and endurance of the rest of your band and is able to keep up and even stand out on his own. At this point he may request that the band play some of his songs. Tell him that there is not enough time in the session and you will have to play later.

2) Because of your Drummer's increased endurance, he will no longer be tuckered out at the end of a session and he will want to keep playing. Throwing a blanket over his head will give him the illusion that it is nighttime and he will doze off. At this point, hide his sticks.

3) Your mature Drummer will need some different care tips in order to remain healthy. We suggest buying the following supplies to keep your grown-up Drummer happy: Pornographic Magazines, Rubik's cube. These things will keep your Drummer happy for the rest of his useable life. At this point we suggest buying him a drumset, if you haven't already done so.

DISPOSAL

1) After you are through with your drummer, take him to your nearest music store or veterinary clinic, where they will dispose of him.

2) Your average healthy Drummer should last about 20 years, if you follow these instructions.

THANK YOU once again for buying one of our products. If you have any questions or comments, call us at 1-800-WE-DRUMB and a representative will speak with you.

We do not accept returns.

Dr. Hobo · Post by **Dr. Hobo** » 10/28/2003, 4:39 am